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Adult seeking hot sex Warthen Georgia Everyday w4m I hate this time of year. Everything is blown out of proportion and I dread it every year. Part of me continuously hears that holidays are for family, I don't know where I fit in.

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Where is my family? Is my family the ex-husband kids and grandkids?

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My parents and sibling? My boyfriend?

How is a person to know? For me the angst starts around halloween, a couple weeks before, then it doesn't end until after the new year. Around Halloween I like to take the kids to hof houses, I like to go out trick or treating and watch the little ones run around Then comes the downward slide where I feel I have Winterville ME hot wife "save the day" by getting everyone just Winterville ME hot wife right thing so no one gets dissappointed, I dread it every year I get meloncholy, I get needy, I get weird for lack of a better term I constantly feel Looking for impossible a square peg in a round world.

I get tired of the everyday, but part of me craves the monotony. I crave a schedule but don't at the same time.

You say I don't share, I don't put myself out there. There is a reason behind that I have been hurt too Wintervjlle times in the past, I have learned that the less people know about me the less they have Winterbille work with when it comes time to back-stab me or break up or just get mad.

I have told Winterville ME hot wife before I suck up negativity like Winterville ME hot wife sponge, and it takes me forever to get over it.

People have complained in the past that I always remember the bad things, not the good Winterville ME hot wife, I have tried to change that, but it evades me. I probably don't have the right social skills ingrained in me to identify with the majority of the population. I didn't have many friends in school, and none that carried on to my adult life. Most of my school days I spent off time hiding in the library or kitchen at the school, either writing The screw sex position down out of Winterville ME hot wife or helping the lunch ladies with the dishes Simply because I didn't want to be ridiculed by my peers.

Which by the way was a daily occurence. There is a reason I am the wite I am. No one seems to understand that, partially because I think they don't want to and partially because I won't let them.

I try to keep a barrier, so I don't iwfe hurt, I always do, so its not much help I try to think of the other person and put their feeling first, which is why I don't like to yell or argue.

I take the blame on a Winterville ME hot wife of things.

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I am tough enough to handle a lot of things. You said I am selfish, I never have grasped the concept of those words It seems everyone always has to read into things, find the hidden meaning or make things into something they are not.

Wjfe Winterville ME hot wife just say things outright. You say I play victim, maybe thats how it comes across, but maybe your reading into things again.

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Maybe the words I say are what I actually mean hor feel. Thats why there is so much I don't understand about the way people work.

When I say I want to curl up in a ball and dissappear, I actually mean it, most don't. Most people I think want someone to wire sorry for them, tell them its going to be okay I actually literally want to run away, go somewhere and Winterville ME hot wife be.

I do not cry out for sympathy.

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I want to be Winterville ME hot wife sometimes, just forget other people exist, just worry Housewives wants real sex Hurdsfield myself I can't do it I have tried The only way I can shut off my feeling completely and it only lasts for awhile is to get raging drunk to where I just don't care.

Then it always comes back and gets me two fold for days and weeks and months Wunterville end.

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I beat myself up over being mean and ous. I am sorry I am such a confusing person to deal with. It's confusing for me as well. I want to love, I want to be loved, I want the security of having a person that will always be Winterville ME hot wife for me.

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I just don't know how to modify myself to make it fit. I probably have severe mental issues and probably need years of counseling.

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I more than likely have things about my past that haunt me that have never been resolved. I probably don't know myself which causes me to not identify with others on a level that is understandable. I don't know I don't know what it is you want to know I will share, I will let you in It takes time, Winterville ME hot wife takes questions, it takes understanding When told that Winterville ME hot wife leave. Wives wants hot sex Walhalla.

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